Politics – Jonah Goldberg is a Twit…terer.

Ah, Jonah Goldberg. Loving practicioner of “it can’t happen here” with “Liberal Fascism” (we’ll talk about what’s wrong with that title, and in fact the title “Conservative Fascism”, at a later date), member of the deflated “National Review”, and provider of unintentional comedy. To (t)wit!

“?? Dems want a health system that says when you can knee surgery, but demand abortion coverage because women should control their bodies.”

OK, let’s be fair here. Twitter is only 140 characters. I’m sure Jonah Goldberg doesn’t believe that women shouldn’t be in control of their bodies. That said…even with 140 there has to be a better way to phrase this. Like, at the very least not a way that implies Goldberg thinks vagina should be his for the asking.

“Re: the “coming backlash”: Why are people so eager to see every attack by a Muslim as an excuse to denounce American bigotry?”

I’m assuming this is in reply to the Fort Hood shootings. You see, little Jonah, some people conflate every Muslim in the world with the ones who do bad things, and then do bad things to them, like beat them with sticks or burn down their house. This is unfair to them because they didn’t do anything, they just happened to share a religion with some guy who did bad things and live within fifty miles of morons.

“hey Gorby: the USSR needed Perestroika because it was a hate crime against humanity. Stick with the Pizza Hut commercials.”

Can’t we go back to the good old days, when both sides were teetering on the brink of nuclear war and acting like you were bugfuck was just seen as a reaction to society’s tensions, instead of you being a total asshole?

“Worth noting that the bipartisan position in American politics is to oppose Obamacare. Won’t get reported that way though.”

You see, in Jonah Goldberg’s world, there are Republicans and people who don’t count.

“W=Prohibition. W’s been repealed, ending Obama’s mandate. http://bit.ly/2mQFCJ”

The link leads to even more unintentional comedy, mostly of the “LALALALA WE DON’T NEED TO CHANGE” type. But clicking on it will not give you a single fucking clue as to what the hell Goldberg is even talking about. Seriously. It’s something about Prohibition, and how that was a big deal, and how FDR’s reforms were less important at the time then getting that sweet, sweet booze, and how this means Obama sucks and the liberals are losing steam.

“Oh, I had no idea! There’s an “Incumbent Party” to blame for everything. I thought it was the Democrats. But this other party runs things.”

LALALALA NOTHING IS OUR FAULT! LALALALA OBAMA IS NOT CLEANING UP OUR SHIT!

“Watched remake of Pelham 123 in hotel. Amazing how much worse they made the plot.”

Finally, we have unity in politics.

Am I being unfair to Goldberg? OK, yes, and gleefully so. Twitter’s not a great medium for communicating complicated concepts because of the character limit. Combine that with somebody who’s not terribly sharp in the logical reasoning department (Goldberg is very good at what he does, but that’s not providing clear and reasoned positions: it’s telling his audience what it wants to hear in a way that makes them feel intelligent).

And to be honest, Goldberg chaps my ass for other reasons. I feel bad for the conservatives of America because their leadership doesn’t represent them, and their supposed intellectuals are guys like this doofus. I think that’s bad for democracy on a lot of levels, not the least of which is that a fairly substantial chunk of the country is not fairly represented.

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