Movies – The Fall and Redemption of Tucker Max

My only question about Tucker Max is: How long before he finds Jesus?

Max is following a classic American/religious arc: the sinner who experiences a fall and is saved by faith.  In ten years’ time, he’s probably running a church.

What makes me think he’s headed for a fall?  A number of things.  Apparently his next book, “Assholes Finish First”, is delayed indefinitely.  Ever hear of any of the blogs Rudius Media runs?  No?  Another problem.  And this brings us to the final nail in the coffin: “I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell”, the film adaptation of one of his stories.

It’s hard to say just how screwed  “Hell” actually is, filmically, but screwed it decidedly is.  Freestyle Releasing, the distributor, has mastered snatching defeat from the jaws of victory: even their buzziest movies, like “The Collector” and “Sex Drive”, choked at the box office, and “Beer” has been getting terrible reviews.  The fact that I wasn’t aware the movie was coming out this week until a Max fan I knew told me is a bad sign too; this isn’t “The Hangover” and needs all the marketing it can get.  The trailer, which you can see here: , is pretty bad as well, indicating it’s leaning entirely on the fans to see it and no one else.

Of course, it was also probably dirt-cheap, but the most Freestyle’s made off of a theatrical release was $16 million.  So the movie will come out, probably gross third after “Pandorum” and whatever else is strong on the charts this week…which, after all the hype, is seriously going to let the air out of  a few tires.
Add to this the fact that Max is in his mid-thirties and still drinks himself stupid every night.  Forget American arcs, we’ve all had a FRIEND who loves himself the booze just a little too much, and it catches up with him.

So this is what’ll happen: the movie gets bad reviews and tanks, killing any prospect for a sequel.  Max finally releases his next book, and it doesn’t sell as well as the first one.  Max freaks out when faced with the idea every woman he’s had sex with wasn’t a virgin before he met them;  how’s he going to handle people not loving him anymore?  By doing what he’s doing, but more and more desperately.  And eventually he’ll discover that he didn’t invent Tucker Max Drunk, he just hasn’t experienced alcohol poisoning before.  Max’ll hit bottom, and as Garth Ennis so eloquently put it, when you hit bottom you either turn to Jesus or put a gun in your mouth.

Honestly, since I find his stories boring, I’m greatly looking forward to Tucker Max, Preacher.  It’s going to be a lot more fun.


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